Shooting the breeze with Breezie

I love Signature Tags, I used to make them myself, but they are time consuming, so I ended up stopping around 2 years ago.

I found that my Fotki site is still alive and well, so I think I am going to go back to doing the tags once again.

My tags are created from blank tags that others create for this purpose, I then ad borders and text to them.

This tag is currently available now through the end of July, when you order a tag, check back here in a day or so, because I will leave it here for you.

Go here to order this tag:
Current Tag Request

I also take request, just let me know what you want.

OK, Fotki doesn’t always want to cooperate, so if you can also just leave a comment here to order this tag.

A Colorado senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. “Amazing!” he thought as he flew down I-25 pushing the pedal to the metal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

“I can get away from him - no problem!” thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 100mph, then 110, then 120mph. Suddenly he thought; “What on earth am I doing? I’m too old for this nonsense”!

He pulled the car over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the driver’s side of the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go”.

The man, looking very seriously at the trooper said,

“Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back”.

“Have a good day, Sir,” said the Trooper

Lynne has sent me on a Magical Carpet ride in my search for LaLaLand.

You will find Genie King and Genie Princess taking you on this magical ride and will safeguard you by giving you the Symbols of the Genies to help ward off the Evil Master and his wicked ways!

Now that I am on my way, I wlll send this magic carpet onto 5 of my favorite bloggers.

1. Jesse
2. Ryan
3. Lisa
4. Lisa Marie
5. JohnC

***Start Copying Here***

Rules:

1. Write a short paragraph about your visit by the two Genies and include a link to the blog that passed on the Genie Symbol to you.
2. COPY the Rules and ENTIRE List below and post it on your blog.
3. List down your wish.
4. Place your name below the last name on the list and pass on the Genie Symbol to at least 5 other bloggers.
5. Please put up either one (or both) of the Symbols of the Genies on your blog to show that the Genies have visited your blog.

The Genie King, the Genie Princess and their trusty Genie Buddy have visited:

Mariuca would like to wish for success and fame.

Adrian would like to wish for good health and happiness.

Emila would like to wish for happiness and success.

MPG would like to wish for love and peace.

Bobby would like to wish for the powers of Superman and immortality.

Jean would like to wish for stress-free work environment and happiness.

Trinity would like to wish good health for Jan’s brother & Yah & Wan & success.

Jesse would like a great isp and a Yummy box of chocolates.

Jay would like to wish for 10k visitors and readers per day.

Spiff, The Spaceman would like a billion US Dollars! (Am I being too greedy here?)

Rolando would like everyone’s hearts desire to come true.

Sam would like to wish for a happy & simple life and happiness to everyone.

Speedcat Hollydale would like a pet acorn monkey named “Monkee“.

Joezul would like to wish for all to get their wish come true.

Promthep would like to be successful in everything.

kumo would like to wish everybody a better day every next day.

NAFASG would like to build a better community for everyone.

Levian would like to be happy always.

Apple would like to be slimmer.

Menopauseprincess would like peace, happiness, love, health & prosperity for everyone!

Morgan would like to wish for love, laughter, sunshine & blue skies for EVERYONE!!!

Kellie would like to wish for happiness & love to be bestowed on her family & friends.

LadyJava would like to wish for love, health, beauty and wealth for one and all.

Keeyit would like to wish for staying healthy and happily with family.

Colleen wishes everyone be well and happy.

Spookygrace would like to have a busy traffic and making money blog.

Shinade would like to send love,peace,wealth and good health to everyone.

Cotojo would like more Love, Peace, Harmony, Understanding and safety for our children throughout the entire world.

Bobo would like health and wealth for everyone she loves (including all her blogfriends).

Auntie Dar would love to end animal cruelty.

Chinnee would like to wish for happiness and good health forever!

Ozzieblackcat would like to wish for success for her blog!

Rinnah would like to wish for more good paying opps to come my way!

Bless would like to wish for more happiness & more blessing for family & world peace.

La Chanson de Phoenix would like to wish for a small bottle of sweet perfume.

Sophiagurl would like to wish for the good health of her mom and dad, peace and prosperity for her brother’s family, a baby for her sister, good health and blessings for her husband and two daughters,peace, love and happiness for everyone.

Zunnur would like to wish for an escape to a place with fresh air, green earth, blue skies and nice people.

Annita would like to wish [ …….. ] ^_^

The Sewing Mom wishes good health and peace for all her friends and family

Shooting the breeze with Breezie wishes for SLEEP without so many interruptions and for happiness, good health and peace.

Welcome aboard the Magical Flying Carpet for the Ride of your Life!

Alakazam!

***End Copying Here***

Dear Tech Support:

Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the software, limiting access to accounting, wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls other programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, Cruise Ship 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new programs such as PokerNight 1.3, Golf 2.4  and ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversations 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1 or HouseCleaning 2.6. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose utility is of only limited effectiveness. Can you help me, please !!

Tech support response:

May upgrade to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed to run as few applications as possible. Husband 1.0 can assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems regardless of the root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command “C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME”. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. After some time, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6. DO NOT, under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application and can cause selective shutdown. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and WorkLate 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.

Thank you for contacting Tech support and best of luck.

Ok, so I am bored…lol

Doing some surfing and came across some really funny product warnings.

Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Windex
Do not spray in eyes.

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.

Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.

Stridex Foaming Face Wash
May contain foam.

Sleeping Pills
Warning: May cause Drowsiness

Christmas Lights
Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.

Komatsu Floodlight
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark .

Earplugs
These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe

Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow   (HUH?)

Matches
Caution: Contents may catch fire.

Auto-Shade Windshield Visor
Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition.

Fix-a-Flat
WARNING: Do not weld can to rim.

Road Sign
Cemetery Road. Dead End

Church Parking Lot Sign
Thou shalt not park

Slush Puppy Cup
This ice may be cold

1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.
2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.
3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it. So I said “Implants?” She hit me.
4. I don’t do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
5. I live in my own little world. But it’s OK. They know me here.
6. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
7. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
8. I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
9. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead’s.
10. I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
11. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.
12. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
13. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
14. Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
15. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
16. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom’s wise words: “Don’t pick that up, you don’t know where it’s been!”
17. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail…but, a true friend will be sitting next to you

1. Do you believe that we as humans were meant to have just one person we are paired with for life? Why/why not?

2. What do you think about famous people who have huge egos and/or are general not nice people? Do you think they have any right to behave as such? Are you able to ignore them and still enjoy their work, or does their attitude just kill the experience for you? Why/why not?

3. Do you believe that our happiness may be all about how we handle life’s changes and curve balls? Why/why not?

The 213 Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do
In The U.S. Army

The explanation of the events is somewhat comical as well .

A few of my favorites are…

29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.

31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.

Be sure to read this list from top to bottom..lol

Skippy’s List & More

George w. Bush is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner with a box.
Curious, he runs over to the child and says, “What’s in the box kid?”
The little boy says, “Kittens, they’re brand new kittens.”
George W. laughs and says, “What kind of kittens are they?”
“Republicans,” the child says.
“Oh that’s cute,” George W. says and he runs off.
A couple of days later George is running with his buddy Dick Cheney and he spies the same boy with his box just ahead.
George W. says to Dick, “You gotta check this out” and they both jog over to the boy with the box.
George W. says, “Look in the box Dick, isn’t that cute? Look at those little kittens. Hey kid tell my friend Dick what kind of kittens they are.”
The boy replies, “They’re Democrats.”
“Whoa!”, George W. says, “I came by here the other day and you said they were Republicans. What’s up?”
“Well,” the kid says, “Their eyes are open.